Just realized that Ra and I might not be able to a vacation this year. We've out-spent (sp?) ourselves with roofs, bikes and possibly Ra's Master program at Loma Linda.

We were planning to vacation this winter in Seattle & Sandpoint, Idaho to visit friends and family but at this rate ... we might not have enough funds to do that vacation AND the Sapporo Snow Festival! wah!

So when we bought my bike, I said I understand if we can't make it to Seattle/Sandpoint this year. I can live with that.

But when I thought that our Sapporo Snow Festival trip may be postponed for 2+ years due to Ra's schooling ... I had to put my foot down. It is important for Ra to go to school for his Master's. But I REALLY want to see the Sapporo Snow Festival in my lifetime. Yes, it may be there 3 years from now. But will I? A plane could fall from the sky and kill me at any minute. Life is too precious to think that I will live forever. Ok, I'm being over dramatic. But seriously, I want to grab Life by the balls and LIVE! Ok, Life might not live after squeezing the balls so tightly ... heehee!

It may be too early to tell if Ra will not be able to make it to Japan next year. We can only cross our fingers. A friend, Lee, said he might try to make it to Sapporo next year if we are going. Maybe if he can make it, Ra won't worry too much about me traveling alone. I learned my lesson from the last time I was traveling alone ... don't speak to strangers and if someone grabs your thumb, scream!

I've been to Japan twice by myself. I really missed Ra then. But now that I know how to call internationally and stuff, it shouldn't be too hard to keep in touch. I hope he'll let me go if he can't make it ... I really want him to come too! But I don't want to miss this chance to see the snow festival.

Decisions ... decisions ...

I had my doubts about my first camping trip. I asked my girlfriend about the facilities and she said we'd be sleeping in tents. There were perfectly good yurts and cabins to rent but nooooo, she wanted to sleep in tents! Her son is in cub scouts so she has camped before and is very enthusiastic about camping.

My friend has made this camping trip very enjoyable. She brought her whole house with her, including the kitchen sink! We had a cooking table, along with a picnic bench already at the camp site, and every convenience of a home. She even brought a solar shower thingy!

At first I was horrified at the 'nature' that kept falling in my cup of water, in our tent, in our plastic bins with stuff, in basically everything. But after a few hours (of trying to fish everything out!), I gave in and resigned to the fact that nature has beat me. Nature will be everywhere so I just have to accept it.

I had a blast watching my friend's son and his friend try to knock sea grapes out of the trees. They hate it when adults laugh at them but I was laughing my butt off. Ok, maybe not out loud too much but internally I was laughing my butt off. I haven't felt so free in awhile. Or relaxed. We grilled veggies, shrimp, beef and chicken for dinner. Afterwards we made ice cream and baked apples. It was a great time!

We slept in the tent and it was pretty good. A little chilly in the morning but overall I had a great time.

I woke up this morning and never felt better. A little stiff but overall pretty good. We had breakfast, cleaned up a bit and then Ra and I went for a walk on the beach. I picked up a souvenir to remind me of this relaxing day. When a lot of folks tell me I need to relax ... then I guess something is seriously wrong.

Like in the movie "Clueless", I am going to make over my soul. Find new friends, be more independent from Ra, and focus on my hobbies. If I can't love my job, at least I should love my life.

"Get over yourself" is what my old boss used to say to me. I thought he was just being cheeky. But they are words of wisdom.

I am going to look at a used motorcycle on Tuesday. I am also signing up for the MSF (again!) to prove to Ra that I can ride a motorcycle. Then after that, I am on my own.

Ra keeps telling me that I need to find new friends to hang out with. So I guess I am in search for new friends to hang with.

Getting old but feeling young at the same time. Kewl!

It's been a long time since I got to wake up on a Saturday and relax.

Ra took the bus to work today. His department is short staffed and very busy getting ready for accreditation. He's been putting in overtime hours on the weekends. Saturdays AND Sundays. It's amazing how he and his manager, Ron, can selflessly devote themselves to their jobs. I used to be like that in Endoscopy. Now, it's hectic but more manageable. If I did come in on the weekend, it would be to "clean" up my office more than anything. Well, then again, it's only been a month since I've been in my new office so who knows? Hopefully in the future I won't HAVE to come in on the weekends to catch up.

I think after June Ra and Ron can relax a bit and take a breather.

So I'm catching up on laundry and cleaning a bit in the garage. There are so many memories around the garage and stuff. But I'm thinking that memories are best in your mind and heart. Maybe I can give away the stuff??

I think I inhaled too much simple green. ugh! I can still smell it.

Listening to HPR's Click 'n Clack. They are talking about marriage right now. hahaha!! It's a show about cars and they are talking about marriage. eek! Gotta get gas .. better run to Costco now before it gets too out of hand!

I am testing out my dial2do. Because I would like to post more in my LiveJournal but sometimes I'm just not somewhere convenient to type it in. So hopefully I can just call it in.


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I took the last two days off from work and it's helped me immensely! It has helped me clear my mind for this challenge at work. Plus I got to do some chores around the house so although it's not as clean as I'd like it, it's getting there. Funny how the simplest thing can be so helpful sometimes.

Now that I'm in admin, we have all of the Queen's holidays off. When I worked in Endo I only had 6 of the 10 Queen's holidays off. It's weird but nice at the same time. Taking all the holidays off will affect my PTO but my sanity is more important.

I am trying to figure out the best way to organize my desk space. My trainer is still mostly down in the office but I am slowly moving in.

Even Ra has noticed a change in my mood lately. I swear, so far this year has been very stressful. Actually the last several months has been stressful for me at work. And it has affected my personal life a lot.

But now I am laughing again. And that's a good sign.

Yesterday, Ra took off from work at noon and we went to Downtown (the restaurant) to have lunch. It turned out to be leisurely since the service was so slow. The food was delicious but it was busy and they didn't have enough servers. Oh well, luckily we weren't in a rush. Then we walked to the main branch of the library and borrowed some books. It was nice to spend some time together. We even went to Longhi's for a Happy Hour. Yum! We met some friends at the Art after Dark event at the Honolulu Academy of Art. We had a great time but we partied a little too hard so we had a slooooow start this morning. But now we're feeling more rested. hehe! We have dinner plans with a friend this evening to chat and catch up so that should be fun!

I can't wait till we buy our outdoor umbrella from Costco. I plan to have many lanai parties in the near future!

I haven't posted in 3 weeks now. Every time I sit down and thinking about posting, I delete it. Mostly it is ranting and raving about the crappy things at work. Poor Ra has to listen to me rant and rave about the idiots I work with after work. Sometimes even during lunch. But as I get older, I realize that maybe don't want to listen to ME bitch about work all the time.

Just because I don't bitch about work here doesn't mean there isn't anything to bitch about.

I love typing that word ... bitch.

I left my former position in Endoscopy for another position in the Oncology department. It's a promotion for me but not much of a pay raise. Instead of dealing with managers, I will be dealing with Directors and Vice Presidents so it is a much different level.

So far, the last 2 weeks has been my orientation. I have done some small things but mostly just sit and watch my trainer work. She's like me in the sense that she wants to tie up loose ends before she moves on to her new position. I sometimes forget what it is like to be the 'new' person. I am so used to be being the trainer that being the trainee is frustrating for me. I get impatient with her. And myself.

I feel like she is shutting me out of projects because she doesn't like me. But maybe it's my perception. I need to sympathize with her. But I just want to learn what I need to and then get on with setting up my new office. I didn't have paperclips until just Friday!

Ok, enough bitching for tonight.

Last night Ra and I went to dinner to my highschool girlfriends. Some of us got really drunk but mostly it was FUN! I haven't laughed like that in so long. It's therapeutic!

Gotta remember to feel the love ... feel the love ... feel the love ...

Dang, can't sleep.

Perhaps posting a journal entry will help me fall asleep. My life is pretty boring so maybe I'll bore _myself_ to sleep?? Ok, just a thought.

hahaha! No such luck. But at least it gave me an idea on what to do now. I should watch those DVDs I was going to return to my cousin tomorrow/today. I borrowed them awhile back and decided to return them unwatched. But maybe I should watch them now. I have time. Lots of time ...

So who believes in horoscopes?

And all that jazz? Maybe I do. I have been doing some reading and my fortune looks good for this year. Now I can't tell you for sure whether it's the Western or Eastern horoscopes I believe in because I honest forget which one it is that predicted this but ... I may be switching jobs in the near future.

Pros:
More pay
Different atmosphere
No more answering phones from stupid patients (I hope!!)

Cons:
I will miss working with Ann & Patti
I won't have Herb to pick on anymore
Miss the occasional free lunch/dinner

Well, I guess it sorta evens out huh? I haven't really thought about this move seriously until a few days ago when I read my horoscope stating that I should take a chance on a career move. And if I don't take the first chance then when the second appears, I'd better take it for sure. So there was an opening in another department. I saw it, thought about it and let it slip away. As fate would have it, it reappeared again. Then I got to talk to the manager of the position. And now my manager is telling me that "it's in the bag" for me. My current manager is that way. She is always encouraging us to grow.

I am a little apprehensive about the new job. But also excited at the same time. I'm sure I'll come up with more cons if I think about it hard enough.

Ok, I'm starting to clean up my act. Getting old so I need clean stuff up. My office. My handbag. For starters.

Hmm, I was going to clean my diet but that salami in the fridge is calling my name!

This year I want to keep our home clutter free. It will be a hard journey since our entire family are a bunch of pack rats. But I will try!

And I am determined to keep our home cleaner. I am tired of dust & mold/mildew so I will have to keep a better eye on the bathroom and the rest of the house. Since Ra is out of school, I can create a list to have him help me around the house more. Woo hoo! Lucky HIM! HA!

I know that Ra has his eye on regaining his garage space back so that will probably be his number one priority.

As I get closer to another 'milestone' birthday, I keep thinking about my future. I do not want to be where I am a year from now. I am thinking of a career change and going back to school for more certifications. I am looking at student counseling or research psychology. I am still not sure what field I'd like to go into but I know, for sure, that I do not want to be where I am longer than I have to. I like my boss, most of my co-workers but it's a dead-end job. I wish I had a Fairy Godmother to wave her magic wand and tell me to wake up from my "dream". heehee! And when I wake up, I'll be a multi-millionaire best selling author of self-help books or something to that effect.

This will be a very interesting year ...